I am addicted, please help!

Hey Val,

I have been masturbating for the last seven years. I do this twice daily, in the morning and evening. Please help me to how I can stop this activity.

Andrew

Hmmm Andrew, I almost do not know what to tell you. Masturbation is a very natural thing. We have areas of our bodies that bring us extreme pleasure and of course we want to explore them and feel good. On the flipside, masturbation can be physically draining because your body wants to sleep after ejaculation so this may be affecting your productivity. It may also have occurred to you that now that you have this amazing sex life of one, you do not need other people. You do not have to date or put yourself out there for rejection… you do not have to be vulnerable. Also too much self-love will make you a lazy lover.

I have found that it is easier to give something up when I add another more meaningful thing in its place. So don’t stop masturbating, add a morning walk/jog/run to your routine. It will change your whole day and soon you will find that the feel good hormones from exercising will have you masturbating less. You could also add more sex. 

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Hi Valentine.

I am 22-years-old and have noticed that whenever I have unprotected intercourse with my partner, I usually have a burning feeling after the act lasting for like 15 minutes or so and afterwards I get a foul smelling vaginal discharge for a week.  

This leads to itchness and reddening of my vagina. I have visited my doctor and he always tells me its fungal infection which I doubt because immediately I finish my treatment the symptoms occur again. These symptoms have been re-current since March and I have not seen any doctor since their prevalence have reduced and also the discharge, please tell me what could be the problem. I am now tired of visiting the doctor and fear going for an HIV test because I fear the worst.
Distressed Female.

Dear Distressed,

I am not a doctor but I will recommend that you walk into a chemist and ask for Triokit.  This is an over the counter treatment , its an anti-fungal, anti-parasite and antibiotic.  They are four pills and you will take them all in one day.  Your vagina is a delicate balance of good bacteria and fungus. I suspect that treating one infection is making the other flare up – fungus decrease, bacteria increase and vice versa. Also ask your man to get treated.  Men also get yeast infections and you two may be passing it back and forth.  Chill baby girl, you will be all right.

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Last week a lady named Joan sent me a great email saying:

“I was reading through your articles on The Star's website and found a question where you asked "us" to send to you things that surprised us / that weliked / disliked. I remembered the first time Mr. Man went down on me and he decided to kiss me soon after collecting the nectar. I was shocked that I loved my own taste! Never would I have thought that not only would I enjoy the experience soo much but that I can't over MY taste...”

I brought this up with my friends over drinks and was surprised to learn that we are all a little self-conscious when it comes to oral sex so we pretend that we don’t like it.  The sad thing is that a lot of us women do not get to orgasm from intercourse.  We enjoy it, but what would really work is oral sex from a generous lover.  Ladies, I am with you on this.  I too am self-conscious. Years of being told that you shouldn’t look ‘down there’; that people shouldn’t even see the clothing that comes into contact with ‘down there’; that ‘down there’ needs a lot of cleaning… it makes you think of this part of you with a lot of awkwardness.

What do the guys think?  They love it.  They feel lucky to come into contact with ‘down there’.  Like the proverbial kid in a candy store, they want to look, smell, taste and touch everything ‘down there’.  I am not waiting for some great moment when the stars will align and the moon will wink at me to tell me all is well with ‘down there’.  Nope, thanks to Joan, I am taking a shower and letting a guy go down on me.  HAAA!! I am blushing, enjoy your weekend.