• A party scatters when police are called, and a phone thief tries to take advantage
Image: COURTESY/ TIMOTHY ICHANGAI
To date, I have no idea what was going through that man’s head. Maybe because he thought I was more or less a foot shorter than him, I would be intimidated by him. Taking a deep sigh on how wrong he was.
Let me take you to the genesis. The days where I knew nothing about ‘pres’ as the cool kids would say, or for the rest and I, pregame. Where going to an event didn’t require y’all to cope a bottie and chug it down because the drinks inside are costly. But where there is a will, there is a way; we always find ourselves with a bottie inside.
These were more or less the sober days, the ones where you only took one shot. The ones I carried around a small bottle of perfume or would ingest a mayai pasua on the way so it could remove any trace of alcohol smell from my clothes or mouth. I now laugh at the naivety.
It was an event I had eagerly awaited. Couldn’t afford to miss an EDM event. I must say, I was a late bloomer when it comes to kupiga sherehe. Even before I knew what a cigarette tastes like, a bunch of my friends had already moved to vapes.
Nonetheless, that was the vibe on that day. One or two shots of gin, (I later came to hate gin) and I was already buzzed. The music was flowing, I absolutely love white people music. They ate.
The event was taking place in one of the bougee residential areas and before we knew it, the police were called.
Upon being perturbed, panic rose and it was everyone to themselves. I couldn’t even believe that some of my female friends could climb walls. Anyway, along with other friends, we survived the stampede and exited through the front gate.
A number of people were actually arrested and I remembered how we used to say while racing as children, “Wa mwisho ni bibi ya chura.”
We ran uphill up to a safe place, where the Coast was clear.
I stepped aside to call my Uber, and that’s where all hell broke loose. A tall guy approached me and immediately snatched my phone. Oh! He didn’t even run. He stood in front of me and looked down on my 5’2 feet frame.
Upon snatching my phone, he put it in his pockets where my phone would be third occupant as the other pocket had two other phones. I thought, this must be a prank because, ‘What the hell is happening?’
In a stern voice, I asked for my phone. Mockingly he said, “Utado, sikurudishii simu.” I don’t know what came over me but the next thing I knew, I was holding him by his collar. Literally, ‘kumshika mashati.’ I was so furious and demanded that he either give me back the phone or I scream.
He clearly wasn’t expecting that and quickly he gave me back my phone as more people began drawing their attention to the scene. Too bad for the other five phones that were left occupied on the kleptomaniac. More of like, they were left to their own devices to #OccupyAThiefsPockets.