Mombasa couples sensitised on managing marriage conflicts

Married couples have been advised to enhance communication in their marriages to reduce cases of divorce in Mombasa.

Shufaa Foundation has organised a sensitisation conference in Mombasa on the importance of marriage that brought together Muslim married couples and unmarried youths from 13 counties.

Couples were sensitised on how the family can remain united to ensure children are raised with one mother and father.

According to the State of the Judiciary and the Administration of Justice Annual Report (SOJAR) for the financial year 2022/23,  11,852 cases were filed in the Kadhis’ Courts.

These courts handle muslim-related issues on personal status, marriage, divorce and inheritance.

Shufaa Foundation founder Sheikh Omar Buya said unmarried youths were educated on fundamental marriage issues.

The initiative is meant to augment the works of the Kadhis courts.

“The genesis of marital conflicts in the country stems from the lack of marriage knowledge, they have been given knowledge by experts,” Sheikh Buya said.

Sheikh Khalifa Secondary School principal Sheikh Rishard Rajab said poor communication and failure to understand each other's likes and dislikes are the main causes of divorces.

He advised married couples to enhance their communication skills which assists in managing their marital differences.

“Failure in communication is the root of all problems because someone may say it is a lack of compatibility but as Muslims, we are not supposed to date before marriage.

"We will know each other once we are married, we don’t propagate courtship,” Sheikh Rajab said.

He advised couples not to shy away from seeking marriage counselling services for fear of stigmatisation.

“Solutions will be reached when people dialogue,” Sheikh Rajab said.

He said mobile phones and addiction to social media platforms have exacerbated conflicts in marriages.

 “You’ll find in our houses the wife and husband busy on their phones. We are supposed to set aside our phones once we step into our houses to improve communication.

"Our fathers and mothers stayed in marriage for over 40 years because there were no distractions,” Sheikh Rajab said.

He said unrealistic demands copied from social media platforms have also led to the deterioration of relationships.

“We need to have self-control and our children need our attention. We need to go back to the drawing board to look for the best way forward despite the challenges that we have,” he said.

A Nairobi University lecturer Dr Hassan Kinyua concurred that modernisation had brought numerous challenges in marriage.

“Most of the divorces in the Kadhis Courts are as a result of mobile phone usage. You’ll find couples having secret lovers.

"We advise couples to shun posting their attractive photos on social media,” Dr Kinyua said.

Sheikh Zubeir Noor said in the past, arranged marriages were the panacea of successful marriages as families had strong connections.

He advised couples to consult the elders when faced with challenges for an amicable solution to be reached.

“Muslims should respect the institution of marriage and contribute to sensitising others in their areas.

"Let’s use the available communication channels to revamp our marriages following the teachings of Islam. We are now more educated than before,” Sheikh Noor said.