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Mothers-in-law: The stern gatekeepers blocking men from maternal clinics

They often get a bad rap, but new research reveals their constant meddling is harming the health of their sons’ families

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by JOHN MUCHANGI

Health14 February 2025 - 09:07
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In Summary


  • Men’s involvement in maternal, newborn, and child health (MNCH) is known to improve the health of the entire family. But it involves them accompanying their wives to antenatal clinics, helping around the house, sometimes cooking and cleaning the baby. 

Mothers-in-law expressed concerns that a their sons involvement in pregnancy and childcare signalled laziness by the wife, a lack of masculinity on the sons, or even bewitchment.

When it comes to a bad reputation, no one has it worse than the mother-in-law.

They are notorious in movies and TV for being difficult. And they often become a convenient scapegoat for marital tensions and family conflicts.

But now scientists say they have evidence of this interference in marriages and how it negatively affects maternal, newborn, and child health (MNCH) services in Kenya.

Their study identifies mothers in law as the key enforcers of traditions that keep men out of maternal and child health.

It is published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.

Men’s involvement in maternal, newborn, and child health (MNCH) is known to improve the health of the entire family.

But it involves them accompanying their wives to antenatal clinics, helping around the house, sometimes cooking and cleaning the baby.

The exact thing mothers-in-law are against their sons doing.

One mother-in-law said: “I see my sons even taking their pregnant wives to fetch water, cleaning utensils together. I feel bad for them and sometimes I call my sons to make them stop doing their wives’ duties.”

The researchers gathered 53 women—35 mothers (wives) and 18 mothers-in-law (women with married sons)in Kakamega for a series of focus group discussions. They were asked their views on men engaging in MNCH.

The resistance of mothers-in-law to their sons’ participation in MNCH activities was stark. Many expressed concerns that a man’s involvement in pregnancy and childcare signaled laziness by the wife, a lack of masculinity on the man, or even bewitchment.

One newly-married woman said: “My husband never even helps in washing the child. My husband is a ‘Mama’s boy.’ He stays at his mother’s place almost all the time and whatever he is told by his mother is what he does... She does not want him to help me with any household chores and to accompany me to the hospital.

The research paper is titled: “My Husband Is a ‘Mama’s Boy’: Women’s Views on Male Engagement in Maternal, Newborn, and Child Health in Western Kenya.”

A recent policy brief by the World Health Organization – titled Nurturing care and men’s engagement – indicates male engagement has multiple health benefits to the man, the wife and child.

Many initiatives to promote male engagement have since sprout up in Kenya.

However, the researchers said most of these initiatives do not weigh the benefits and risks that women may experience because of increased male participation in MNCH.

They therefore sought to qualitatively assess how women perceive and experience increased male engagement in MNCH in western Kenya. And whether indeed women want men accompanying them to clinics.

Our findings suggest that the level of support for increased male involvement in MNCH varies depending on the type of participant,” they said.

Many mothers-in-law saw men’s engagement as an encroachment on female spaces rather than a supportive partnership. This perspective stems from deeply ingrained cultural beliefs that assign MNCH responsibilities to women, reinforcing a rigid division of labour.

Younger mothers generally welcomed their husbands involvement in MNCH, particularly in financial support, joint decision-making, and emotional backing. However, they acknowledged societal barriers preventing their husbands from fully participating.

“In our community, many men do not help their wives because they fear being laughed at by their friends. They will be seen as fools,” one mother explained.

Another recounted: “When I ask my husband for help, he would rather hire a maid.”

Despite these challenges, many mothers valued male involvement, associating it with love, care, and shared responsibility. Some even saw it as a way to reduce domestic violence and foster stronger family bonds.

“My husband’s involvement would make me very happy. It will show that he wanted the pregnancy, and we are in this together,” one participant said.

Kenya’s National Reproductive Health Policy 2022 - 2032 provides for greater involvement of men in MNCH.

It was partly informed by a 2014 survey by the National Council for Population and Development on the perceptions of male involvement in reproductive health in Kenya.

Generally the findings show a more negative perception of male involvement in Family planning and reproductive health than the proponents of male participation,” NCPD said in its 214 report, the National Survey on Male Involvement in Family Planning and Reproductive Health in Kenya.

The Ministry of Health currently encourages antental clinics to give priority to women accompanied by their husbands as a way of encouraging male involvement. However, this is not captured in an official policy.

The current study also indicates many women have reservations about men’s involvement in some aspects of MNCH.

One major issue was the potential for men to dominate women’s spaces and restrict their autonomy.

“If men accompany their wives to health facilities to control their movement and actions, then women will not have the chance to meet other women and engage in conversations about their pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare experiences,” the study noted.

Another significant fear was that men might use their engagement to assert control over reproductive decisions, including family planning and contraceptive use. Some women worried that having their husbands present during medical consultations might limit their ability to discuss sensitive health issues with healthcare providers.

“It is natural that we women get pregnant and give birth; men do not. So, I think it is not natural if we expect our husbands to play the role that women have been created to play,” a mother-in-law explained.

The study used Connell’s theory of masculinity to explore how traditional beliefs shape male involvement in MNCH. Hegemonic masculinity, which emphasises male dominance and control, was found to be a major factor in discouraging men from taking active roles in maternal and child health.

Some women said men participating in MNCH challenges their cultural identity, making them vulnerable to ridicule and rejection. This societal pressure forces women into a difficult position—wanting their husbands’ help but fearing the backlash that comes with breaking gender norms.

The study says while male involvement in MNCH has clear benefits, there is need for approaches that consider women’s perspectives.

“These findings show that programmatic initiatives to enhance male engagement in MNCH must consider mothers-in-law’s concerns and leverage mothers’ desire to engage men in a gender-equitable way,” the authors said.

 

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