Mental wellness: How OCD made me stronger

Mental health has become a major topic in the society, meaning you have probably used or heard others use the term OCD.

The myth is that it is all about tidiness and being orderly, not necessarily a big deal. But Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is so much more than that.

It is characterised by aggressive and unwanted thoughts, repetitive actions and needing things to be in a symmetrical way.

It also involves an irrational fear of dirt, mysophobia.

According to the International OCD Foundation, more than 3 million people across the world suffer from the condition.

OCD cannot be treated and with time, depending on how mild or aggressive one is affected, one learns to live with it.

I had a sit down with Patience (not her real name) and she shared her journey so far and how she has dealt with OCD.

How did you know you had OCD?

I was diagnosed with OCD in 2018. It was a scarry time. But I always knew something was up with me.

I grew up with intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that people around me did not see me as much of anything but a bother. That I had to do certain things in a specific way if I was going to keep others safe.

But I never thought it was an illness. To me, that was just me. I was evil that was why I had those thoughts. At least, that is what the voice in my head used to tell me. And it did sound a lot like me.

Months after my doctor said I had OCD, I tried to disown that part of me.

Little did I know that the more I tried to ignore the fact that I couldn't go to the movies because people are "dirty" and had to scope out a restaurant before ordering, I was making things difficult for myself.

Over time, I have learnt to find ways to make my environment feel safe and clean, without making being "too much."

How did you come to embrace OCD?

In 2020, the Covid 19 lock down came as a rebirth chapter for me. One evening I was seated by my bedroom's window reading a piece on Albert Einstein and came across a part that said he had OCD.

It occurred to me, after a lot of research, that most of the people that have positively influenced the world, have struggled and some still are, with a mental illness.

That was my changing point. I made a resolution to embrace who I was and work through the hurdles.

I started viewing my condition as an advantage and not a weakness. It started with the mindset.

What are the steps you had to take to become stronger?

OCD is a part of anxiety disorder which means to top on the horror thoughts and the counting, I also struggle with anxiety.

It is easier to tap your fingers on the table or fidget but it's also distractive.

So, I have learnt to take in deep breaths. Yes, that helps. You, however, have to do it slowly. Hold it in and recount the positive things in your life.

OCD has made an optimistic human out of me. It has helped me appreciate the times my head is not swimming with dark thoughts.

I have learnt to lean onto the people that love me. As much as it is difficult, I had to come into terms with the fact that we all need a shoulder and I'm not a bother.

I still don't go to the theaters, I scope restaurants and I notice everything.

To me that is keeping healthy. I will not have to eat food prepared by a chef who touched money and did not wash their hands after.

I evade the risk of getting cholera and typhoid by avoiding any food joint I perceive dirty or "unsafe."

If my scouting proves the place is clean, I make sure to befriend the waiters and even get their contacts so I can always know when they are around.

That way I have that one person who knows I'm weird and love me in a certain way. Sometimes I don't mind the judgmental looks.

Having OCD has taught me to do my chores and mostly, be self-dependent.

I have to chop my greens but for the times I can't, I have a friend I trust enough to help me out.

Some days prove harder than most. Especially when I'm sick.

Considering that the lock down period was spent in non-crowded places, how has post lock down been?

Since 2020, I have made enough progress to get comfortable more times than I would back in 2018 and before.

What would you wish people took more notice of, when it comes to OCD?

It may not be as publicised as other mental illnesses, but we need to understand what OCD is.

Be supportive and show love to the people around you that seem too sensitive to their surroundings.

If you have it, remember the voices inside your head cannot have power until you let them. 

 Talking about it is solving half the issue, even though at the time it might not feel like it.