Hans de Borst's hands were shaking as he flipped through the memorial service programme.
His 17-year-old daughter Elsemiek was on board flight MH17, 10 years ago to the day.
Hans was the first family member to arrive in the small amphitheatre at the heart of the MH17 national monument.
“How am I feeling?” Hans repeated my question. “A bit nervous.”
He gestured to the rows of benches where 1,300 relatives and dignitaries from around the world, including Dutch King Willem-Alexander, would soon be seated.
Two hundred and ninety eight people died on 17 July 2014 when the Malaysia Airlines passenger jet en route from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur was hit by a Russian surface-to-air Buk missile, fired from an area of eastern Ukraine seized by Russian proxy forces.
Former Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte was among the guests filing past fields of sunflowers on his way to the heart of the monument.
Mr Rutte, who is Nato’s next secretary general, was asked by the BBC if he and his government had done enough to get justice for the victims.
“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
Two Russians and a Ukrainian national were convicted of murder in absentia by a Dutch court in 2022.
Igor Girkin, Sergei Dubinsky and Leonid Kharchenko all face life sentences but the three remain at large because Russia refused to surrender them to face justice.
The Buk missile system belonged to Russia’s 53rd Anti-Aircraft Missile Brigade, based in Kursk, and the three men were all found guilty of transporting the missile into Ukraine.
The Kremlin has always denied any responsibility for the air disaster, which has left an indelible mark on the collective memory of the Dutch nation.
Mr Rutte noted the difficulties in pursuing justice and said he’d been moved by tributes paid in the run-up to Wednesday’s 10-year anniversary.
A few relatives of those who died exchanged hugs and hushed words with the man who was prime minister at the time of the disaster and stepped down little more than two weeks ago.
“I think he did everything he could,” said Silene Frederiksz, whose son Bryce was on board MH-17.
“And I’m optimistic that Dick Schoof [the new Dutch prime mininister] will keep pushing for justice and accountability. He was involved in the MH17 investigation; he understands.”
A decade on, the families are still searching for the truth, and acknowledgement of responsibility.
“MH17 keeps coming back to haunt me” said Piet Ploeg, whose nephew, brother and sister-in-law were all killed on 17 July 2014.
Of the 298 victims, 196 were Dutch but there were victims from many other countries including 43 from Malaysia, 38 from Australia and 10 from the UK.
Eighty children were among the dead.
Australian relatives also took part in a separate memorial service at Parliament House in Canberra.
The war in eastern Ukraine, at the time a few months’ old, erupted in February 2022 into a full-blown Russian invasion.
Many of the Dutch relatives believe the current hostilities could have been averted if the international community had taken a tougher stance in response to the shooting down of flight MH17.
The passenger jet exploded at 33,000ft (10,000m) and bodies and wreckage landed in fields of sunflowers near Hrabove in eastern Ukraine.
Sunflowers have since become a symbol of the tragedy and relatives carried them past flags flying at half-mast at the Dutch monument not far from Schiphol Airport.
Robbie Oehlers was one of the few relatives who travelled to the crash site in the aftermath of the disaster, in search of his niece, Daisy, and her boyfriend Bryce.
Every now and then planes rumbled above the sombre ceremony. Bryce's mother Silene was among those who read out some of the 298 names.
Australian Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus, representing his country at the Dutch event, said those caught up in the tragedy of MH17 had shared a pursuit of justice, truth and accountability, but no words could ease the pain.
Further legal action is under way at the European Court of Human Rights and the International Civil Aviation Organization Council to hold Russia accountable under international law for the attack.
Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky said it was inevitable that everyone guilty of this and other war crimes would "hear the verdicts they deserve".
“They will never admit it,” said Robbie Oehlers of Russia’s leaders. “Yes, I just want them to say sorry, but Putin, he never will. And now with the change in our government. Today they are thinking about MH17 again, but tomorrow they have other priorities.”
For many of the families, the MH17 national monument has become a place of solace.
There are 298 trees planted at the monument in memory of every victim. At each tree relatives congregated to place flowers, candles and photos of their loved ones who never came home.
“Love is the strongest emotion. Today reminds us, we are not alone in our sadness,” said Prime Minister Schoof.
Piet Ploeg who spoke on behalf of the families, said it was heartwarming to see everyone come together and thanked Mark Rutte for his efforts.
The crowd applauded.
"The most important thing,” said Mr Ploeg, “is that this dark day in our history isn’t forgotten."