Life, executive and career coach Decimar Ogutu believes in the paramount power of self-awareness. A trained, certified coach focusing on divorce and grief mentoring, Ogutu is also president-elect of the Kenyan chapter of the International Coaching Federation.
As ICF celebrates its 22nd annual coaching week this week (May 17-23), I got a chance to discuss with her how she takes people towards their goals and better self-awareness.
Her career in human resources over 24 years has been in the Africa-Middle East-Europe region in the hospitality, healthcare and engineering sectors.
How do you define coaching?
In my view, a coach is somebody who helps a coachee to uncover what is going on in their lives. We do this through excellent questioning, listening and raising the other person’s awareness of themselves. Coaching is all about the client and my job is to ask questions that will direct a client into the solutions they desire for themselves. I will also help them to take actions towards their goals.
What can one gain from life coaching?
The power of self-awareness cannot be underrated. This is how you know your strengths and your areas of improvement. When you try to make it on your own, there is a high chance you will not know how to tackle your weaknesses and you will stop improving. Whatever the case, as a coaching client, you set the pace, the goals you desire to achieve, by when, and the changes you want to make. Some goals might include behaviour change, which takes time to work through.
What is a divorce coach and why would you need one?
Firstly, divorce coaching is different from counselling. When a marriage ends, there are many areas of change that one goes through, and the coaching sessions help to bring you clarity. Divorce coaching focuses on areas of change that come with divorce, for example, a single-income home, identity from Mrs to Ms, co-parenting and the intensity of emotions. Coaching also supports a person in decision-making and in the ability to move forward while embracing the changes. Although divorce is a taboo subject in this country and people shy away from such conversations, strangely enough, I get divorce coaching referrals across the board.
How is coaching valuable during these turbulent times of Covid?
Covid has brought a lot of challenges both at a personal and professional level. We have witnessed organisations restructuring, benefits being reviewed downwards, goals not being met, etc. Families have been forced to cut budgets, to home-school their children, and there is the fear of contracting the virus. These challenges can be overwhelming and affect individual performance.
A coach can help individuals to navigate through these situations, to get clarity or bring an in-depth understanding of what they are experiencing. In the process, one can better work through the various options of what needs to be done or how to overcome the difficulties.
Tell us about success stories in your experience as a coach?
There was one client I worked with who came to me because she was feeling ‘lost’ and ‘stuck’ both in her work and personal life. She was a wife, mother and career person. My sessions helped her to unearth issues she was not aware she was carrying, such as the problems of various family members and friends. It also made her aware of important matters that she had pushed aside like her creativity and love for the arts. At the end, she was encouraged to take up her creative passions, to let go of baggage and know her priorities. She came away much happier personally and in her family life.
Which people most need coaching in the workplace?
I believe everyone needs a coach from time to time in various stages of one’s career, based on individual experience, maturity, exposure, roles and responsibilities. For example, the role of a junior employee is mainly transactional, it is pre-defined and the responsibility sits with someone else. But for mid-level managers and leadership positions, more is expected of them, especially from a strategic point of view, hence a greater need for coaching.
How does professional coaching increase employability or career success?
Coaching can definitely increase somebody’s employability or career success, especially if they know what they need to improve on. As a coachee, you also need to follow through on your commitment towards the desired changes. As a coach, I will always hold my clients to their commitment.
For businesses, how does coaching help employee retention or overall organisation success?
Coaching is about partnership, leaders partnering with the employees. The success of an organisation comes from its people; hence, retention plays a critical role. An organisation needs to understand what motivates its employees to stay. Employees look up to leaders who inspire them to do better all round. So the question is, are leaders creating opportunities or an environment where employees’ views, thoughts and ideas are appreciated? Therefore, coaching as a leadership competency is a critical skill that must be nurtured at all levels of leadership.
How do you overcome client resistance to coaching or change?
As a coach, I understand that people resist change due to fear of the unknown, previous experience, mistrust, misunderstanding of the process, their image, prestige, reputation — the list is long. We all want to work with partners we trust. During the engagement phase of coaching, I ensure I am very clear on what coaching entails and I work to address any concerns from the clients or sponsors. Furthermore, the ICF Code of Ethics helps me in mitigating any form of mistrust between the parties involved.
What personal qualities make a good professional coach?
Individual attributes and experiences make each coach unique. But I believe some important qualities include the ability to ask the right questions, active listening, being able to suspend judgement and building trust with your client. Also, learning to use silence while focusing on the client.
Why do you enjoy coaching?
Coaching aligns with my purpose in life, which is to inspire, motivate and ignite one person at a time with honesty and respect. Though the coaching principles remain the same, I enjoy the fact that each client is an opportunity for me to get a new experience.
Which professional coaches do you follow?
Iyanla Vanzant, an author and motivational speaker, and the late Dr Myles Munroe, who was a speaker and leadership consultant. Also, Pegotty Cooper, co-founder of Divorce Coaching Inc, a company that trains and certifies personal divorce coaches.
Who have been the best coaches in your life?
My late parents were the first coaches in my life. When I look back at my values and beliefs, it is my parents who formed my personal foundation. Today, as an experienced coach and mother, my sons Kyle, 18, and Kevin, 15, are also active coaches because children ask a lot of questions. They challenge the status quo while teaching us a lot about ourselves and by bringing a self-awareness to the surface that cannot be measured.
Professionally, I have been fortunate to work with great leaders who took me under their wings and coached me on various aspects of leadership and business in general.
How do you spend your leisure time?
I enjoy cooking, running and music like reggae, jazz and lingala.
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Edited by T Jalio