Why readers don’t lend or borrow books

A stacked bookshelf/AI

There are a couple of things that a book lover will describe as “absolute horror." Fewer still that would make a book lover distance her/himself from you.

One of them is the thought of borrowing or lending books.

It is an unspoken rule among readers, “Do not lend your book even when it is a matter of life and death."

For some, a few, it is the thought of never getting your book back.

But even worse is getting a book back in horrible shape, which seems to be a primary motivation for people to keep all their books safely cloistered away.

The day’s discussion circled around the issue of lending and borrowing. The latter is a non-issue for avid readers, as they prefer owning a book.

As they tell of the reasons for not lending, one can see the expressions worn, fear and for lack of a better word - disgust.

“They borrow a book and then return it with dog ears, and I don’t like that,” Tracy Mutinda says. The thought of having folds in her books is enough reason to keep them close to her.

Having gone through a time when a friend borrowed a book only for her to return it in a bad condition, Tracy still wonders “Why fold the book in an age where bookmarks are popular and cheap?”

For Gloria Musimbi, lending depends on a couple of things. This however, does not mean she is much into having other people borrow her books. 

If the book is gifted, Gloria is holding it close and tucking away in her bookshelf.

“I'm not giving it out,” she says firmly.

“If I am lending it to another book lover, it’s easier to know that they will take care of it,” she adds.

In the rare occasions that she is going to lend a book, it is going to be followed with stern rules and a promise of return.

“If I am giving it to a non-book lover, I'll give them, but with conditions, especially if it’s a self-help, motivational, or non-fictional book,” she says.

When it is an ebook, she is open to sharing; after all, who will spill coffee or fold an online book?

For Patience Mwende, there is no possibility of lending a book.

“The last time I gave someone my novel, it was returned after three months with missing cover, torn pages, and coffee marks,” she explains.

Mwende says she finds it difficult to give anyone, regardless of whether they are book lovers or not, her books.

“If any of my books have wear and tear, it’s from me. Which is rare because why would I deliberately place a coffee mug on it. Why would I smudge my book?” she asks.

Speaking of the duration that one has to take before returning a book, what do readers say?

According to Andrew, he is testimony of why readers should not lend.

It has been a few months since he borrowed a friend’s book, and he still has not returned it.

“I haven't returned my friend's book months later, borrowing it; this is why I wouldn't want anyone to borrow mine,” he says.

The book is in good condition still. No highlights, no marks, no smudges, and no folds.

“For book owners and lovers, staying away from your book is like a painful long-distance relationship,” he explains.

This is well understood by a reader who gave their experience on Goodreads, the world's largest site for readers and book recommendations, which also acts as a library.

The reader explained their ordeal every time they lend out their books.

“It seems like every time I loan books, I not only don’t get the book back, but something happens that means I never see the borrower again,” they said.

In one occasion, a friend’s brother borrowed a couple of books, and his parents divorced, and the books went on with the relocation.

“There was whatever I loaned a friend at Barnes & Noble, and then he quit. There was my Lord of the Rings trilogy (happily only a book club edition) to the girl I worked with at the movie theatre, and then she quit,” the reader says.

“When I finally noticed the pattern, I stopped lending books.”

With book lovers, there is a strong cord of love and connection between them and their books.

Sameer Gudhate says each book he owns holds a special place in his heart, as they have accompanied him on various journeys of self-discovery, enlightenment, and escape.

“They are a part of my personal library, a reflection of my tastes, interests, and intellectual growth. From the cozy mysteries that captivate me on rainy days to the thought-provoking philosophical works that challenge my perspectives, each book has become intertwined with my own story,” he explains.

“Lending a book to someone means temporarily relinquishing that emotional connection, and I choose to prioritise the bond I share with my collection."

Gudhate believes people should get their own books, as this will cultivate the reading culture.

Erica Robyn says some books just can’t be replaced, and lending them is a bad idea.

“I really care a lot about my first editions and signed copies. While I’m not an intense book collector by any means, I do have many books that just cannot be replaced. I will not lend these out to anyone,” she says.

For readers, in as much as they want other people to experience the roller coaster of reading a book, let it be yours.

Cultivate buying your own books if you want physical copies.

You can identify the affordable bookshops and make them your go-to places.

Otherwise, you can also opt for ebooks, which are widely available in different platforms online.

You can also buy a Kindle.

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