According to the dictionary, feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. But on the ground, the definition is different. Many a proclaimed feminist is a bully, a know it all, who has misplaced anger, no sense of humour, and a keeper of what they believe to be intelligence in women.
No wonder people have a negative connotation when one announces that they are a feminist. Especially if you are a woman. It can be draining.
A woman posted on an app saying her single mother was lonely and she wanted a man for her mother. That is what she wanted. I am sure being two adults, they must have had a discussion and decided that the man would be good, for her.
The brigade started with her. “Why are you equating happiness to a man?” “My mother is also in her 60s and enjoying her grandchildren yet she does not have a man!” “You can be happy alone!” “Why can't she travel and enjoy her old age?” Because she wants a man.
Jeez, aren't we being a bit hypocritical? We want women to be able to do what they want but if they decide what they want is a man, that is where we draw the line.
Do you know there was a time a woman could not express her desire for a man? She would be considered loose. We did not even have the right to decide when to get married or have a relationship. Women did not have dreams beyond looking after their children and husbands.
And when the children grew up and flew out of the nest, and the husbands died or also moved on with their lives, she was expected to wither and die. Now that she has decided that maybe she can make her own choices, the same ones who claim to fight for your rights want to tell you what you should want.
What is this life without satire?
I posted a meme that said, 'The feminism leaving my body when the bill comes' and you can imagine some of the feedback I got. From 'do you know what feminism is?' to learning new terms like patriarchy maidens. It is frankly so exhausting. I am not belittling the seriousness of any situation, I am using satire to ridicule, to expose and criticise people's stupidity.
If we are to go by what feminism means, many of you are involved in bullying and are projecting other personal issues. Maybe you are the ones who do not know what you are doing or the meaning of feminism and it is no wonder many do not want to identify as feminists. Why would they?
Yes, I want to be able to work and be paid based on the job I do and not my gender. I want to be able to choose my partner. I want to be able to leave a marriage that is not working for me for any reason I deem unfit. I want to be secure in my home or in public and not be defiled because I am a woman. I want to run for political office and not be intimidated by physical or sexual violence or cyberbullying. I want the right to make decisions over my own body.
This does not mean that if my dream is to get married and have children I am somehow a disgrace to womanhood. I can want a man, I can want to sit at home, I can also want to be a kept woman. I can do what I want. That really is the reason why we are fighting to be allowed the right to decide for ourselves about our lives.
We are not fighting against men. We are not fighting to think the same. It is not a competition. That my friends, is treading on dangerous ground, because what is the difference between you and a misogynist?
If you look at a woman living her best life, who has decided she wants a man or three, who exercises her right of expression, who goes against the way you practice your idea of feminism and your reaction is to try to shame her, to suggest she is weak or unintelligent, the problem is you. You are not a liberator, you are another oppressor waiting your turn.
Meanwhile, I have been accused of having low self-esteem because I accept polygamy. My dear, you are the one who keeps forgiving a promiscuous man or in denial. Do you have a mirror?