I have taken a lot of flack for advocating polygamy. I am not going to stop, but I am worried about some women who think they are in a relationship that will lead to a polygamous union. These women are in sitautionships with a promiscuous pro-max man who on the surface, gives polygamous man vibes.
I maintain that an African man is either polygamous or promiscuous. And as we figure out the situationships in polygamous clothing, I want you to pay close attention.
This man will not lie to you about his marriage situation, unlike a typical promiscuous man. He does not have sob stories of being mistreated by his wife. He does not talk ill of her, which may come off as a plus to you. In fact, his home life is fairly good. His children are happy and his wife is blissfully ignorant.
His honesty feels like respect. We do not want anyone undermining our intelligence. This guy tells you he does not plan on leaving his wife. He does not want any more children and then gives you ‘freedom’ to leave the situation should you find someone better. This here is a red flag.
The talking stage has been unmatched. He pulls all the stops. Dinners, gifts, late-night calls and surprise lunches in your office.
You are hooked. Pretty soon your world revolves around him. He invests just enough to keep you hopeful. He can change your life, or get you that job or pay your rent even but he will not. He barely talks to you about the deep stuff. Dinners and dates have been replaced with promises and mixed signals. You plan a date then suddenly he has been left to babysit and because you know how important his family is, you do not make a fuss.
The only time he is willing to meet is when he wants sex. You on the other hand think you like his sex because that is the only time you spend together. The only time you have his undivided attention, all three minutes of it. So now you will try everything to show him how hard you will go for him. He wants kinky sex, you give kinkier, because why was Tequila invented? The more you try the less effort he makes.
Every now and then he sprinkles “this is my wife” to useless friends who have seen more of his women than they can remember.
Rock bottom is near when you find yourself walking on eggshells. You dare not complain or bring up any concerns. He says he wants peace meaning, he does not want to be accountable to you. And if you insist on talking things out, he threatens to leave.
Basically, you have become the woman he can have sex with and use little or no effort. A plaything that he only removes from the drawer when he is bored. But it is hard to get out of the situation because he is not outrightly cruel to you, he is like a rat that bites your toes then blows on the wound in between the biting so you do not feel pain then.
Also because you think you are in a polygamous union, you tend to stay in that situationship and do not notice the clown shoes and wig you are wearing.
So before you think you are in a polygamous union, just check closely to see if you are not in fact in a situationship with Mr Pomiscuous Pro-Max.
A woman met a man. The man is married. He said to the woman, I like you and I want a relationship. But these are my non-negotiables. I am not leaving my wife (fair enough), let us enjoy ourselves for as long as we can (red flag), I do not want drama (red flag), I do not want any more children, so do not get pregnant (the woman has no children and besides, if he does not want to run the risk of more children, why not get a vasectomy? Red flag).
He went on, do not get clingy (red flag) and if somewhere along the line you find someone who can love you, we can go our own ways(Red flag, because when are you going to find another man when this one will want you under him any free chance he has?) Then after all his conditions, he tells her that he loves her (red flag).
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Promiscuous Pro-Max.