Giving motivational speeches is an art. It is me who is telling you? Growing up, motivational speeches were the reserve of only those who had bank accounts, you know, the people who had achieved something in life. Speeches used to be ostentatious and served greatly as a source of cheap self-gratification.
Lately, however, everyone seems to be itching with something to say, a state that has seen the whole affair degenerate into utter nonsense and purposeless gibberish. First of all, let me make it clear that I do like motivational speeches the same way I like my tea sugared and that is a matter above question.
As its name suggests, motivational speeches should actually be motivational. You see, something motivational should rouse great desire for something, whether it’s success or just a bottle of smooth American Aviation gin.
It should also be able to provoke change or greater conviction in a course. One thing that is certainly not motivational is change without a plausible cause. Trust me, no one wants to hear how you just woke up one day and decided to experiment change. What this generation truly thirsts for is practicality. So you changed and succeeded, wait, why did you decide to change?
The cause should always be an external factor in play. That way, it’s not only believable but also practical. Take for example someone going through a heartbreak who decides to start a business selling face wipes to those unfortunate enough to be heartbroken. Although it may seem plain, it meets both criteria: you have the cause and the change making it a perfect motivation. You can easily tell that it is both practical and motivational. I would give anything to listen to such motivation.
We all know that when it comes to giving splendid motivation, nothing clicks like a highly exaggerated personal story complete with an array of vaguely stringed-together emotions. Rumors actually run the world. A little bit of drama here is always necessary to spice up things and propel them to the enviable heights of a new season of ‘Haves and Haves Not”.
The figures speak for themselves. Those wise enough to apply this valuable skill are actually soaring higher than the current cost of living. But here is the catch, in a country that boasts of close to 55 million citizens, your personal story is likely not personal at all and reads the same as that of a couple hundreds of thousands. This therefore means that your story is just another inelegant cliché tale not worth talking about.
Honestly speaking, no one likes being reminded of their own suffering, We all prefer a little bit of something that makes us jealous, something that gets us wishing and hoping. We can’t help it because that is part of what makes us human. We readily gulp down any honourable tale about billions of dollars without questioning its authenticity because deep down we don’t give a hoot about authenticity.
Being Kenyan also gives us immunity so that we can relish in ignorance in any case. Simply put, if you decide to use your success story for motivation, be authentic – scratch that – be vaguely authentic and don’t be afraid to kill us with your flawless creativity, but not too much. We also have brains, you know. And you might as well keep the suffering part to yourself.
One thing I always tell anyone who is willing to listen is that giving a motivational speech is much like milking a cow. You have to take care where you touch as one misplaced touch can leave you with an empty and broken bucket. For motivational speeches, there is less touching to do but your words carry as much weight. Wisely pick your words to avoid coming out as patronising or offensive.
Also, avoid being too honest with your audience. Honesty can be costly sometimes. Take, for example, if you were to tell a KK supporter that he was duped with empty promises in the last general election, be sure that the whole situation will quickly lead to a very disconcerting argument despite both sides knowing that it is the truth.
On a serious note, if you still believe that the bottom-up regime will live up to voters' expectations then I have a dam at Kimwarer to sell you. I digress.
“I did it and so can you”
‘What an awesome conclusion Martin. I felt very motivated; you should visit and motivate me again when you are free.’
Tame your tongue. It’s just like massaging beer bellies; it requires humility and skill. Honestly, this is the most important stage of the speech. Trust me, those who excel at massaging egos will undoubtedly pass unchallenged like the Finance Bill 2023.
So next time before you step onto the stage to give your ‘Killer speech’, make sure you plan and are aware just how far you can actually go. And talking about knowing things, learn to understand your audience's reactions.
Something as trivial as a few disgruntled coughs could mean you are boring and should just stop. They could also mean that you have something stuck in your teeth.
Most probably, they just mean, 'We have heard that before, Nobody likes listening to a story twice, at least I don’t'. And just in case you are still wondering, I don’t like my tea sugared.