FELGONAH: We should sleep with anyone we want

I was minding my own business, scrolling down the social media streets, when I saw a tweet that said something to the effect of "why do men think sleeping with a woman changes her worth yet their worth does not seem to change?" Then an unfortunate fellow said it will affect the woman and we should not sleep with many men, 'for ourselves’, because we can never be equal to men.

Also, the original question did not necessarily mean sleeping with many men, but the author of the tweet has a point because for years we were told not to sleep with a man because it would ruin our reputation.

I do agree. We can never be equal to men. We should not want to. Hell, no one should want to be equal to another human being.

But to say that I should not want to sleep with many men for my sake is really wild. What if that is what I want? For myself? And I am an adult?

Men have always driven the conversation when it comes to what women do with their vaginas. Even when they are not talking, some poor women are echoing their sentiments thinking they are helping.

Listen, the worst thing that can come from consensual protected sex is disappointment. It often has nothing to do with the woman’s reputation. We do not talk about that enough. We instead want to concentrate on non-issues like how a penis the size of a carrot will make one's vagina as large as a water tank if she sleeps with 50 different men but nothing will happen if she sleeps with one man 100 times. Never mind that women give birth to big-headed babies and there is no gaping hole the size of a pumpkin in their nether regions after.

Or that because she slept with 50 men, somehow her value in men's imaginary stock exchange of vagina shillings goes down and so will not sell as fast or for as much as the one who has never had sex on the most reputable women’s market.

I really feel this conversation would make more sense if we were talking about the quality of the said sex and the effect it has on women. Because how is bad sex ruining my reputation and not the one who does not know who to have it with?

The vagina has no footprint and women can do as they please. Most women have lived and died never having had good sex. So yes men, sex with you changes lives but not in the way you think.

Many a woman has become an alcoholic just to manage sex with some of you. Others have become actresses (wasting their talent in your bed pretending to enjoy themselves instead of going to Hollywood) and others have decided to give up on sex altogether. Because of the thing you do and you confidently call it ‘mind-blowing lovemaking!’

We should actually figure out body count by how many men women have enjoyed knocking boots with. Behold world, you millions of virgins!

Anyway, let us be serious. It is 2022, you cannot still be judging women by how many men they should or should not sleep with. Just concentrate on your life so that when it is time to be counted you will be among the numbers who provided enjoyment.

I watched a trailer for an upcoming movie about an elderly woman. I cannot remember if she was widowed or divorced but she had never had an orgasm in her many years. She described sex with her husband as him getting on top of her, doing his business, getting off and sleeping. So at her advanced age, she hired a man to take her to that place, in the bedroom.

This is what I am trying to say. Sex is important. To women. Consensual sex. Good sex. Where both partners care for the other’s end game.

Enjoying it helps with creativity, great skin and hair, helps you sleep better, boosts immunity (I am a Google certified doctor)

Sex should not be used to shame women or to try and tame women. We already have so many NGOs working to reverse and stop physical harm that has been meted out to women because of this need to curb enjoyment. Let us fight this social angle too.