MERCY NYAMU: The toxic effects of branding your workplace a family

This "work family" concept can often blur boundaries and make leaving the company more difficult

In Summary
  • It's important to remember that "family" means different things to different people.
  • Not everyone wants to form deep connections with coworkers or become dependent on the organization.

To clarify, a "work family" is different from being part of a collaborative team or developing close friendships with coworkers.

It's not based on mutual trust or shared experiences. Instead, it's a strategic term used by CEOs and managers to foster employee loyalty.

This "work family" concept can often blur boundaries and make leaving the company more difficult and emotionally painful.

You’ve probably seen the word “family” thrown around when describing a company’s culture. “We’re a family.”

It's no surprise that we spend a significant portion of our waking hours—about one-third of our lives—at work. Our relationships with coworkers serve many purposes, from aiding our career growth to offering emotional support and friendship.

Therefore, it's natural that the bonds we form at work can resemble those within a family.

How a family culture can harm employees

  • Personal and professional boundaries start to blur

It's important to remember that "family" means different things to different people.

Not everyone wants to form deep connections with coworkers or become dependent on the organization. In a professional setting, employees may prefer to keep their personal lives private.

However, when the workplace is framed as a "family," such conversations can become commonplace, as the organization aims to foster socialization for its overall benefit.

  • An exaggerated sense of loyalty can become detrimental

In a family setting, you often don't think twice about helping a member in need, as loyalty and commitment are inherent. However, when this sense of loyalty is transferred to the workplace, it can lead to unrealistic expectations to go above and beyond to get the job done.

Research shows that overly loyal employees are more likely to engage in unethical behavior to keep their jobs and are also more likely to be exploited by their employers.

  • A power dynamic is created where employees are taken advantage of

Promoting a family culture can imply that employers are the parents and employees are the children.

Not everyone has positive family relationships, and emotions from personal family dynamics can easily influence professional relationships if allowed.

Employment relationships are inherently temporary and will eventually end, so likening them to family creates a false impression of permanence.

What practices should Companies implement instead?

  • Define high performance and emphasize purpose.

When building teams and onboarding new employees, separate the concept of “family” from discussions about high performance and purpose.

Communicate expectations for success and emphasize the distinction between work and personal life.

Establish these expectations during the onboarding process and reinforce them through regular check-ins and one-on-one meetings.

If boundaries start to blur, ensure employees know they can easily initiate conversations about improvements.

  • Be honest about career paths and not engaging in deceptive or false promises for near-term convenience, or, worse still, through pure cowardice.

  • Respect that your people have a life, family, and interests outside of work and make reasonable accommodations for requests concerning those needs.

  • If employees start to feel overwhelmed and can no longer manage performance expectations, make it clear what options are available to find support and get back on track. Can they take time off? Can team members pitch in to make their workload more manageable? Can priorities be reshuffled?

Takeaways

  • If everyone were considered family, no one would ever get fired, as you don’t fire family. A better term is "team"—a group working together toward a common goal. If someone doesn’t fulfill their responsibilities, there are consequences.

  • Mutually accept the temporary and professional nature of this relationship. We have to be realistic about the relationships employees build with their employers and remember that it is transactional. Most won’t stay at the same company for their entire career and that’s completely okay. As organizations grow, so do the roles and every organization can be outgrown by its employees if there aren’t enough opportunities for the employee to grow or if the organization doesn’t need the employees’ skills or experiences anymore.


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