When the Covid-19 pandemic hit the world over a year ago, most marriages took a hit due to the different factors that affected couples.
Lawyer Anitah Masaki says it’s a sad occurrence that a number of marriages have been shaken.
“I can say for sure that between last year and this year, I have done more than 50 divorce cases, and most of them were between April and July 2020,” she said.
Masaki said in her case, most cases were because of domestic violence due to the lockdown.
Most couples had been out there working and they never got to see each other often, but the lockdown forced them to stay in the house.
“Lockdown forced people to stay in the house, and even though you are married to person A, you are strangers because you don’t see them often,” Masaki said.
That’s when people found out they may not be compatible with their significant other and out of that, some filed for divorce.
The disputes sometimes led to domestic violence due to frustrations between couples.
Masaki says one of the issues that brought domestic violence was the loss of jobs due to the pandemic.
Many breadwinners were laid off. They did not have a source of income and it frustrated them.
“Out of this, someone becomes angry and where do they turn their anger to? Their spouse,” she said.
Fear of the unknown is what she calls it, because Covid is a new concept for everyone and you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.
REASON FOR HOPE
Masaki dismissed the perception people are drawn to divorce cases for the money. Sometimes you are human and you advise someone in the best way you can, she said.
“One thing I know is if someone really wants a divorce, some of them if you advise them against it, they will never hear you. Sometimes you really don’t know what is ailing the marriage,” she said.
Some clients come to ask for divorce at the first sight of trouble in their marriage.
“Not all of us can persevere but I would not advise anyone to go for divorce the first time a problem hits the marriage,” she said.
She cites a case in 2019 when she received a brief from a woman who wanted to file for a divorce.
While taking instruction from her, she realised her major issue was lack of communication with her husband, which could be fixed.
“I felt it was good to give advice and we advised her to communicate with her husband and sure enough, she got the answers she needed,” she said.
“Marriage is like a ship sailing. Not every day will you expect a smooth sail. Some days you will find waves and storms,” she said.
That’s why in Kenya, the laws regulating divorce initially said at least three years in marriage.
However, Justice Reuben Nyakundi, sitting in Malindi, said if you have been married for one year, you can still petition the court for a decree of divorce.
DIVORCE CAN WAIT
Masaki says not everyone listens to advice. If someone is tired of being married, even if you mediate, you can never force anyone to go back.
“I have seen a case where we divorced someone through the legal process. All that time in court and five months after the divorce, they got back together and they remarried,” she said.
She said the court had issued a decree absolute but they still got back together because they felt maybe the divorce was a rash decision; they never really ironed out their issues.
“It’s a very personal journey. Inasmuch as you can advise someone, it's them who knows where the shoe pinches,” Masaki said.
Even though she has handled many divorce cases, some very heartbreaking, the young lawyer says she still believes in marriage.
“I am not married but I have not given up on marriage because I believe everyone’s journey is different,” Masaki said.
“And it’s not cast in stone that because someone else’s marriage did not work out, mine won’t work out.”
Her advice is marriages can work and you have to experience it for yourself so you can have a personal opinion about it.
“In my professional opinion, I can say most marriages break because of very little things that people ignored in dating and have not been addressed in marriage, and things can easily go out of hand,” she said.
Edited by T Jalio