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Why I gave up on dating apps

Most of these relationships ended even before they started

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by OMONDI ONYATTA

Sasa06 February 2022 - 04:00
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In Summary


  • • One of my life's dreams is to start a relationship with someone's beautiful daughter
  • • Guided by lust in the search of the 'right one', I resorted to dating apps in vain

"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain," (Psalm 127). 

For the longest time, I have always understood this scripture within the context of a physical building. Well, not until the past week, when I took an introspection of my life and realised just how relevant these words by King David are to my situation. 

You see, just like most people, I have developed a tendency to lean on my own understanding rather than trusting in the Lord to make head and tail of life. Many people feel that God is only relevant to their lives when undertaking major projects or only in times of tribulations. 

Personally, one of my life's dreams is to start a relationship with someone's beautiful daughter and eventually settle down into a lovely family. The problem is I have been hard-headed and too proud to involve the Lord in this search for a future spouse. 

Based on my short-sighted human understanding, I had resorted to strategies such as dating apps, guided by lust in the search of the 'right one'. However, all these have come a cropper as most of these relationships ended even before they started. 

Meditating on Psalm 127 opened my eyes to the fact that dating and courtship is more or less like building a house. You have to set up the right, solid foundation upon which the relationship will be built to last. 

A foundation means finding the right woman who fits in with your vision and possesses the perfect qualities and character that aligns with your personality. It is only God who knows us in-depth — more than we know ourselves — and will ultimately guide us in the right path if we submit this mission to Him. 

Yet here I was, thinking that my human wisdom was all I needed in my pursuit of dating and marriage. However, James 3:14-15 describes such kind of wisdom as full of bitter envy and selfish ambition, from where all kinds of evil emanate. 

Why am I sharing such a personal story? Because I know there are countless others who have tried pursuing their ambitions in their own way and have failed miserably. 

You are probably wondering where you are going wrong yet you have put all the building blocks in place. Well, you may need to set aside some time in prayer so that God may direct your paths in the right way. 

We may be one month into the new year but it is not too late to rework your resolutions according to what God tells you. It may not be dating and courtship — as in my case — but there is that one desire that would make a whole lot of difference in your life if it came to fruition. 

Involve God, the chief architect, in it and you will see exceptional results. 

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