• We try to ensure our little kids' safety, but there is only so much we can do
Remember when Arya and Joffrey got into a fight in the first season of Game of Thrones and Robert Baratheaon had had enough of the squabbling and yelled, “Dammit, children fight! It’s over!” Yeah, well that’s pretty much how all parents should take the squabbles that happen at kindergarten.
To be clear, I’m referring to the fights, bites and ‘accidents’ that happen between children under five that happen at daycares and nurseries, not fights between grown kids who should know better.
After about a week of seeing a bruise on my son’s back, today it became evident that the bruise was caused by a bite. You see, when I first saw the bruise, it was a dark purple with light scratching on the side.
As small as it was, I couldn’t help but wonder what it could be that caused it. Could it have come from his multiple falls of the day? Did he run into something at home? Of course, I never ruled out biting from another kid at daycare.
In the beginning as the bruise was more prominent that the bite mark, I imagined it was a hit he took from something. But, as I dressed him today, I noticed that the bruise had faded and a mark, clearly made by a small mouth, was the prominent scarring on his back. I took a photo and sent it to the daycare lady. I was clear that I had seen the bruise earlier and wasn’t sure until today that it is definitely a bite mark.
The poor woman was shocked that she had missed such an event under her watch and apologised profusely. There is only one kid with biting issues, she said, and it is the kid we consider to be my son’s close ally at daycare. The kid had previously also scratched my son on his face before settling down and befriending him.
As much as it hurts to see your child hurt, as a mum of a young one, you realise that these ages are quite challenging for the kids as they have limited control of their impulses.
I was quick to let the daycare woman know that I didn't blame her or the kid. In fact, I thought one of the younger kids could have been going through teething and found my son’s back as a good spot to gnaw on. My son has also been going through teething this past week and has taken a good bit out of me and my husband.
I realise that in a couple of months when he starts proper kindergarten with more kids, some of whom would be a little older, this will be my new normal. I would have to ‘inspect’ him on a daily basis and give feedback to the school.
We live in a society where any bruise seen on the child is first and foremost the parent’s fault. As such, we have to take great measures to ensure our children’s safety, but with little kids, there is only so much we can do.