• The trick for me is making calls, sharing reels and podcasts and attending ally events
Image: PIXABAY
Being in a long-distance relationship with my friends has taught me a lot. Well, not just being in a long-distance friendship but friendship in general.
I’m in that age where every lesson you need to understand happens. How to manage money, how to prep for an interview, how to dress, how to cook… literally everything.
Being in a long-distance friendship is teaching me patience. Sometimes your friend has hot gossip but can only share it at 5pm. Sometimes you have a joke and can only share it at the end of the week.
Ginger and I are yet to adjust to each other’s schedules. She sleeps at witchy hours, I sleep like a baby. She wakes up at 10, I wake up at 7… You get the drift. But we are learning to wait for the other. Patience wasn’t always my virtue, but after this… I do qualify to teach kids how to write!
You know how we have a to do list for our jobs or house chores? You need one for friendship. Mine looks like keeping up with my friend’s projects, scheduling calls every now and then, sending them reels and podcasts, and attending virtue events they host. I have an out of sight, out of mind brain, which means I constantly have to remind myself I have friends. I have friends who love me.
Earlier this year, I constantly bit myself down for being the friend who is far away. The kiwaru (jealousy) I felt every time they were having fun with other people was crippling. I have learnt to adjust what fun is. I have learnt to accommodate what we have (long-distance friendship).
Accommodating these friendships looks like Michelle and I scheduling a check-in call every three months. It looks like Wairimu and I being in the same book club and listening to her every Tuesday. It is also Mutcy and I reading the same book and discussing it. On most days, it is me sharing memes and friends laughing with me. Sharing playlists with Wambúi and Stanley, a podcast with Easter and constant banter with Gitau.
I think society (read social media) focuses on close-distance friendship. The ones you have access to. The ones you meet every weekend. I have learnt to validate my position as a friend. Yes, I cannot have cocktails with you every Friday, but you know what I can do? Banter you, send you videos, tag you on silly Tweets, like your posts. I still love my friends and I believe they do, too.
By the way, have you ever or are you a long-distance friend? If you are, what other tips do you have? If you happen to be my friend (those I mentioned and those I didn’t), are you happy with our friendship? Should I send more reels?