• We no longer live in the world of 'spare the rod and spoil the child'
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I’m turning into my mother.
As millennials, we all know those looks we got as kids from our parents that each meant a different thing. There was the squinted eye with a tightly clenched jaw that plainly said, “When you get home…” The ending was always up to your imagination.
There was the teeth-grinding look with the inaudible whisper that said, “Stop it”. And of course there was the unfazed look that clearly said “I'm not bothered by your tantrums.”
As a mother, I have started applying all of these when dealing with my child. The threenage years have tested my entire existence, forcing me to apply the old school method of rearing children.
We no longer live in the world of “spare the rod and spoil the child” as hitting is frowned on and illegal in many societies. Scientists have also told us that hitting children is not good for their development. However, I believe that the saying is taken too literally instead of the metaphoric way it is supposed to be interpreted.
Spare the rod and spoil the child technically means that not being firm with your child leads to a spoiled brat. If there is anything that gentle parenting has taught us, it is that this statement could not be more true. I'm all for generational trends and advancements in lifestyle, but gentle parenting is perhaps at the top of the list of things I do not agree with. Gentle parenting brings the parent down to the level of a friend rather than the parent. It allows children to express themselves in whichever manner as though there are no consequences in the world.
Just as we live in a society with laws, so should our homes be governed by our own regulations. We live in societies where we have to live with others. We live in a world where there are consequences for our actions. The home is the first school in life. This is where we teach our children consequences, limits and respect for others.
This, therefore, means that as parents, we have the responsibility of raising our children to be functional beings in society. We have the hard task of teaching them what is right, what is wrong and facing the consequences of their actions. If this means that I have to be firm with my child or give him a scolding, then so be it.
My husband and I have recently changed our parenting to a more firm approach. Our child is testing his limits and we are here to enforce boundaries and proper code of conduct. He is about to start kindergarten, he needs to know that hitting is not okay. He cannot hit another child and another child cannot hit him. He needs to learn how to coexist with the other children.