When I got a call from a foreign-sounding woman asking me out on a date, it sounded like my January was going to end perfectly. Quite honestly, I hoped it would mark the perfect beginning of the year for me.
You know how they say the beginning of the year marks the trend for the next 12 months, right? Her name was Helga Annadóttir. No, I didn’t try to pronounce the last name either, but it sounded heavenly to me.
That said, to a horny bachelor, Satan still sounds wonderful for a name if the woman is pretty and willing. But I digress. Turns out Helga was as beautiful in person as I had imagined she would be during our conversation. And totally European.
“So, Helga, I don’t mean to sound rude,” I said during dinner, “but may I ask how you got my number?” “We have a mutual friend at the hospital.” She laughs beautifully. “
I was truly hoping my call wouldn’t put you off.” I wave the suggestion off. “Oh, no. It’s the 21st century. These things happen. A mutual friend, you said? Which hospital, if I may ask?” “St Joseph. That’s where you work, right?”
It’s my turn to laugh. “I bet that’s got to be Kiple. He’s always trying to hook me up.”
Helga smiles and says, “Doesn’t matter. I might have given up my intentions on an occasion or two when I visited the hospital. C’mon, eat up. Your food’s getting cold.”
“Yes, right.” I dug into my Kung Pao chicken.
Helga had suggested we eat Chinese. “So, Helga, I did catch your name, but I’m afraid—” “You can’t pronounce it? Haha.
It’s Annadóttir. It means daughter of Anna. It Icelandic.” I almost choke on a piece of chicken. “As in Iceland?” “Yep.
That’s where I’m from.” The waitress comes over and asks if we needed anything else. I said I was okay.
“Isn’t Kung Pao supposed to be moisty?” Helga asked with sneer.
“This one tastes dry to me.”
The waitress curtsied and offered to replace it.
“That offer is several bites too late, isn’t it?” Helga said.
“I’ll make do with a glass of milk. Thank you.” Mortified, I said, “That was a little… harsh, don’t you think?” Helga touches her bosom. “Was it? I’m sorry.
I have this habit of speaking my mind right out of the box. I’ll be sure to apologise to her.” She puts down her napkin and stands up.
“I think I’m done with this part of the ritual. Would you like to go back to your place and make mad, passionate love?”
Honestly, I forgot all about her being rude to the waitress.
That is, until I showed up to work the next Monday and Helga was introduced as the new director of my hospital.