A letter to my sister as she joins Form 1

If I were writing a letter to my sister, who just joined Form 1, first, I would chuckle, no laugh. You see, unlike most firstborns, my guidance comes in the form of laughter, books and stories.

By now, my dear sister has understood why we (the secondborn and I) do things the way we do. There is a form of ignorance or naivety people have before joining high school. I believe the shock sets in in Form 2, hence the naughtiness.

Anyway, I would tell my sister she will either learn to love or hate herself. I was among the few big-bodied girls in primary school, which means I was bullied. In high school, I was not even top 10. It is then that I learned we all have different bodies. Having friends who were bigger and smaller than me meant I also understood we all deserve love regardless of our bodies.

I would ask my sister to indulge in all the bra talks girls have. What bra goes with what, and what blouse would complement them. I steered away from these conversations because I went to school to study, but I now understand how important they were. It is here that your fashion taste grows, and you learn a good bra will save you. It is here you learn that a boy crush is a normal thing... Ssshh do not tell Daddy I said that.

Learn how to examine your breasts. Record any changes in your periods and report them to us. Unfortunately, cancer, PCOS and endometriosis exist. You are now a big girl, we can no longer monitor how bad your cramps are; you must do it yourself. Observing your cycle also helps when shopping. You would hate to not have enough pads or tissue.

I would love for you to understand your study style. How best do you understand, process and store information? If I had known I only process information in the form of stories, perhaps my grades would have been better. So, do you have a photographic memory? Do you cram or do you understand when the teacher teaches?

Have fun! I repeat, have fun! Now, I know you went to school to study. But, hear me and hear me well. Have fun! In Form 3, I was failing in maths and chemistry. That weekend, we had two basketball games to attend. Although I was not the best player, I attended both games.

I felt so guilty being out when I clearly should have stayed and studied. That weekend, all my preps were spent catching up with the rest. I did not save my chemistry grade, but guess who scored better in math? In your way, create time to recuperate.

I was notorious for waking up early and going to bed late. I know my grades depended on it. But it was not worth it. I wish I slept. You see, I was an average student. Average students in the 8-4-4 system were often asked to work just a little bit harder to cross to the other side.

As you recall, I asked that you examine what your learning style is. Understand that and validate your grades. Rest when you need to. It is okay to be ambitious but, sometimes, you need to oil your scalp and gossip.

I would tell you to make friends with everyone. I mean, be kind. Be patient. Do not jump to conclusions or judge people before you get to know them. Although I did not manage to hold on to high school friendships, those ships held me on my darkest days. Of course, practise discernment and keep off the wrong company.

Um, when it comes to love. My dear, you know I struggle on that front. I did not receive a single letter in high school. Back then we (they) enjoyed writing letters to their friends and boyfriends. I was busy hoping my chemistry grade miraculously got better.

If you have a boyfriend... Um! I think we should ask our other sister to help with this. But basically, just take things slow. No, I am not chastising you. But, by waiting, you will get to have or enjoy sex with far better knowledge than you have now. I would ask you to wait until you understand yourself. If you must, use protection.

Read novels. I know, you excel in STEM subjects. I hope you cannot tell how desperate I am to share a hobby with you. When you read novels, you discover new worlds that would offer an escape from school life. Not to mention the vocabulary you will pick!

Oh, the sooner you adjust to the school diet, the better!

Go forth and prosper!

Yours loving,

Firstborn Sister!