Dating etiquette to know as you celebrate Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is more than a time for gifts and grand gestures; it’s a day to reflect on meaningful connections.

As couples and singles prepare to mark the day, life coach and counselling psychologist Benjamin Zulu has emphasized the importance of healthy relationship dynamics as people celebrate Valentine’s Day today.

“Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love,”  Zulu said adding that it’s also a moment to test character.

He says men should step up and lead in showing appreciation for the women in their lives through thoughtful gifts and gestures.

“A woman should never ask to be gifted,” he explained.

“The right partner will already know and honour her preferences.”

He added:

“If you have to tell him, you’ll have to tell him everything." 

Zulu argues that a woman’s role in nurturing a family is already a significant contribution.

He emphasized that carrying children, risking health, and sacrificing career or body image is enough for men to appreciate them fully.

“Women create families and nurture them. That is more than enough,” he says, adding that Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to express this appreciation. 

However, Zulu warns women against men who constantly question their worth or ask what they bring to the table.

“When you hear men talk like that, move on. They don’t see your value. Don’t entertain such debates,” he advises. 

Zulu also pointed out the dangers of performing “tests” in relationships.

“If someone dismisses special occasions or belittles your desires, take it as a warning sign,” he advised.

“A partner who genuinely values you will show affection naturally without being prompted.”

Zulu also emphasizes the importance of maintaining boundaries in dating.

Engaging in marital behaviours such as cohabiting or having sex too early can cloud judgment, making it difficult to evaluate a partner’s long-term potential.

“Dating should be treated as an interview process. Clear boundaries allow for better decision-making,” he says. 

For singles, Zulu encourages focusing on their unique love journeys instead of comparing their relationships with others.

Social media often portrays unrealistic or staged versions of love, creating unnecessary pressure.

“Love is a journey. Valentine’s Day is just one milestone. Everyone is at a different stage, and that’s okay,” Zulu says. 

He also emphasizes that love is built on respect and admiration.

He says women thrive on affection and appreciation, while men want respect and admiration.

“The food of a woman’s soul is affection, and for a man, it’s admiration and respect,” he noted.

He advised men to use occasions like Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and birthdays to show affection and make women feel special.

Zulu urges couples to understand each other’s preferences and communicate openly.

Men should learn their partners’ love languages and act without needing constant reminders.

“A man who knows his woman’s heart shouldn’t wait to be told what to do on special days,” Zulu says.