BACHELOR'S DIARY: Valentine’s? What a scam!

By now, you should know I love going for dates. The ones that work, that is. It’s the thrill of the chase, you might say, that makes the first few dates so much fun. Once things are settled, it becomes routine, and routine is another word for boring.

Seriously, what will ever beat someone telling you she was ex-DCI and had infiltrated an al Shabaab camp in Garissa? Or that she had once dated a famous musician? Even being a gifted cook soon peters out. I mean, how many recipes can one go through before the tap runs dry?

However, there’s one day when I avoid dates like a case of herpes. That day is February 14. Yes, dear old Valentine’s Day. Mr Valentine probably turns in his grave to hear that I shun his day of amore, but surely, isn’t there enough pretence throughout the year?

I never met a woman who was excited that a single day erased a whole year of being neglected. And no amount of flowers or chocolate or red dress can make up for months of no love.

I have similar beef with other days like ‘Mothers’ Day’. Every day should be Mother’s and Father’s Day. And while we’re at it, don’t get me started on birthdays. Why is it that we insist on celebrating a day when we did nothing but cause our mothers incredible pain and hours of agony? If anyone, mothers should be celebrating the birthdays of all their children. They have something to show for their labour, pun intended.

So, yes, the Perpetual Bachelor is grumpy around most holidays, but so would you if you really think about it. Given the state of the world we’re in anyway, no one should be happy to be alive right now. Back in the seventies? That might have been a time to celebrate. Or so I hear.